Bugaboo’d

So by now you have probably seen the ad. The gorgeous, thin, leggy woman running in her itty bitty bikini pushing a jogging stroller with what looks like a toddler enjoying the ride. The woman is model Ymre Stiekema. And she is in fact the actual mother to the 2 year old in the stroller. In case it hasn’t “run” by your newsfeed today, here you go:

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SO first off – this is NOT a chance for me to attack/shame said model and her amazing physique. I was most definitely not blessed with the genes this woman was. It is not her fault she is this thin and this beautiful and has no remnants of childbirth or pregnancy left on her lithe body.  If I looked like that, then sure, maybe I’d take my kid out for a jog in my bikini too.  What am I saying, no I would not! Side note  –  even as a relatively small woman, who works out like a beast most weeks, I’ll admit I’m jealous as hell that no matter what I do,  I will NEVER look like this photo. Two years ago I got pretty close – but I had Norovirus and I don’t really recommend that as a diet plan.

Now on to my rant over this absurd ad.

This is an advertisement for a Bugaboo Jogging Stroller. It costs $800. Again. It’s a stroller. And it costs $800. More than a mortgage in some states. Certainly not Los Angeles. But, you get it. If you are lucky enough to have $800 to spend on a running stroller – probably one of 3 strollers you may own, (convertible, umbrella, jogger, etc) I’m thinking you may have the money to spend on a nanny that can probably stay home with the kids while you take a jog on your own. I know I sure as hell would. Also – where is the cup holder and goldfish tray? She won’t get 5 minutes into her run without that kids screaming for a snack and she’ll have to run right back home to avoid a meltdown.

Now the bikini. It’s obvious the photo is meant to read that she is running in a neighborhood of some sort. Not the beach. She is in an actual bikini, running down the street in what we are to assume is her own neighborhood. Now hands up, who here has EVER run in their bikini (before or after baby)? Anyone? Yeah, didn’t think so. The only time I’ve ever run in a bikini is down the beach after the ice cream vendor so my kids will stop whining for a push pop. Running in a bikini is absurd. First of all, that bikini top has no support whatsoever. If she nursed her kid (which I can confirm from an interview that she did) then her boobs would be behind her ears with every step. Seriously, after nursing 2 kids, I like to say it’s as if someone grabbed my boobs, walked across the room and let go.  And can you imagine the wedgies? You’d have to pick it out because your whole ass would be hanging out. Now your neighbors have seen you half naked and picking out a wedgie. Lastly, the mommy belly – I’m going to estimate .9 % of women who have given birth have a stomach that flat or without any stretch marks. I’m scared of the fitspo memes that will come out of this. You know the one that says something like “..so I can run in just my jog bra and shorts”. Well, hell, this takes it to a whole new level.

At first I laughed and laughed at this ad. The absurdity of it. I can’t imagine a woman or mom was in the room when this concept was agreed upon. But now, if you can’t tell, I’m really angry. SO angry that I wanna cry while writing this. It is so friggin hard being a mom. And so friggin hard being a working mom. And then we get ads like this that tell us, “Hey, Mom! Yeah, You! Get off your lazy ass and go for run in the middle of the day (cause yeah, that can happen) with your bikini on and your flat stomach and your itty bitty perky boobs with your $800 stroller!” WTF!?!

Get a clue Bugaboo. This is unattainable by 99.9% of the world. Was this supposed to make me want to buy your product? This photo has done nothing but confirm that I will NEVER buy a Bugaboo. I mean, if I won the lottery tomorrow, I certainly would not buy a Bugaboo. Was it supposed to inspire me to workout harder? To feel more in control? To feel more beautiful? Like, if I own this stroller, then I will be the “Supreme Mom! Better than all the Moms!” It did none of these things. All I want now is ice cream. And I’m not on the beach, so there is no vendor to run after.

 

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Summertime Blues

We are deep in the throes of summer. The lack of structure and predictable schedule is throwing everyone in the house off. Even the dog. The kids are home almost everyday, or I’m racing to drop off/pick up for soccer camps and playdates. Trying to keep a normal workout schedule has been almost impossible.  Normally, I really like to change things up. I’ll try different strength or stability exercises at the gym, take a different kind of class, or set a big goal (half marathon anyone?). My body loves the challenges and my so easily bored mind loves the changes. But summer basically means stay at home mom time for me. I train clients early in the AM, evenings and weekends – all times the hubby is home.  And if I’m lucky enough to be feeding my creative side by auditioning or working on set, a sitter helps out. Otherwise, I’m entertaining the kids on these 90+ degree days.

So to give my brain a break – I stick to what I know really well and look at summer as a maintenance time instead of a building time for my body. I can’t give up working out all together, 1- You would probably find me in a straight jacket by September and 2- I run a fitness business. Staying in shape is kind of important for both my psyche and my bank account. So I do what’s easy for me, and can be done fast.

Here’s 3 things that I’m doing to stay in shape in between visits to the pool and froyo runs:

1- POLE! I love poling. It brings me joy, gives me a great workout, and I get some much-needed girlfriend time with people I love to be around. Big bang for the hour and half I leave the hubby with the kids. I’m physically renewed and joyful from the laughs and bonding. I’ve also found a great Instagram challenge for the month of July – forcing me to train on the pole every day, even if it’s just for 10 minutes.  I even get the kids involved sometimes.

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2- BOSU! I love the Bosu stability trainer.  You can nail a full body workout with a Bosu in about 30 minutes. I have one at home, but even at the gym I use it weekly. I love the quick fix I get with just a few exercises. Here’s a little video with 3 great full body moves.

3 – YOGA! Taking a class forces me to work out and have absolute quiet for at least an hour. The crazy days of summer, late nights and kids fighting over the iPad take a toll on this mom. Yoga restores me. At least that’s how I feel afterwards. During the actual yoga class I’m cursing myself and silently screaming from the inside “WHAT AM I DOING HERE?!??!?! RUN! RUN! LEAVE THIS CLASS!!!!” But then by the last ten minutes when we can lay still and almost fall asleep, I’m a much happier human. And a much better mom. I’m also doing a #backtobackbends yoga challenge on Instagram this month to keep me motivated. Public accountability is a good thing for those of us fitness obsessed.

IMG_1698So these are the things I’m doing to stay fit this summer, at least when I’m not eating ice cream with the kids and drinking margaritas with the hubby. How do you stay focused on fitness in the summer?

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